Men, transwomen, and gaslighting

How many times has a man tried to tell me who I really am and how I should feel? How many times have they lost it when I rejected their bullshit and showed them my boundaries?  Often enough to make me a fucking expert on the subject.

I’m intimately familiar with claims that when I say no it’s abuse, and when I refuse to back down to their aggression, I’m victimizing them. That withholding my support and validation is destroying their lives. Typically these claims are shouted from close range, with balled fists and red faces.

That’s why I have this weird deja vu about some of the men who identify as women. Actually I don’t care how they identify. But wait — not caring is not an option. I have to loudly admire their choice, or I’m being abusive. I have to center their needs in my feminism, or I’m victimizing them. That’s a problem.

My other problem is when men who identify as women start defining for me what a woman is: a feeling, fancy clothes, and a set of sexy stereotypes, apparently. And if I reject that bullshit in favour of the lessons of my own lived experience, I get dogpiled by a bunch of screaming angry “victims.”

I’ve been threatened with murder for saying that women are the ones who give birth. I’ve been excluded from conferences and coalitions because they claim I am a “Trans-Excluding Radical Feminist” – even though I’ve never excluded a transperson from anything.

Whiny faux-victimization, narcissistic rage over my refusal to submit, constant demands for validation, gaslighting – these are the hallmarks of male entitlement.

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6 thoughts on “Men, transwomen, and gaslighting

  1. Not only the men themselves to deal with, though, since there are many libfem handmaidens ready and willing to gleefully police other women for a few pats on the head from these men. The sad thing is that many of these handmaidens think of themselves as brave SJWs destroying the enemies of an “oppressed people” and that any women who oppose them deserve the vitriol. Some of the libfems may wise up when the men they defend turn on them and/or do nothing for women in return for the handmaidens fighting their battles for them. Maybe some libfems will see the truth when the practice of allowing any man claiming to be a woman unquestioned into women-only spaces results in more women dead, raped and perved on. Just too bad the libfems don’t seem to have the life experiences yet that would let them see how they are being used and how their “masters” really do not give a damn about anything but their own delusions and fantasies.

    Liked by 7 people

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